Everyone has their own process when dealing with breakups. Sometimes it can be unhealthy without us knowing it. We try to get away from the bad feeling so quickly, which can lead to a temporary fix for a permanent scar.
We all dread dealing with breakups, it’s inevitable and almost a rite of passage to being an adult. Whether its a long term relationship or not, the time and emotion invested will definitely leave a mark post breakup. So, here are the 5 Dos and Don’ts when it comes to dealing with breakups to help you ensure you’re on the right and HEALTHY track towards moving on.
Social Media Detox
We’re not strangers to the power social media has on us. It pretty much amplifies our thoughts and feelings AND adds wound to the salt. The FBI side of you might be curious to find out if your ex has moved on already or if they’re sad (or not) about the breakup. Besides, the last thing you need is to post a bad lyrics from a bad song in a sad attempt to throw shade at your relationship. Social media detox is the FIRST thing you do when you’re dealing with breakups. Remember: Look for a support network not a social network.
Seek comfort from someone close
You might be a strong, independent and emotionally in-check type of a person BUT everybody needs a shoulder to cry on sometimes. It’s okay to ask for help because in the long run it will make a better version of yourself in terms of getting over your relationship. There’s only so much you can hold back in before it backfires. And it WILL backfire.
Take some time and space for yourself to reset. As cliche as it sounds, it works. Taking time away from everything for a while gives you the opportunity to process everything without having to worry about the external factors like “How would I explain this to our friends and family?”. Going for a short getaway will also help you get in touch with yourself again.
Create an output
Every entry has an exit. This applies for bad and negative feelings too. Instead of stalking your ex from your car looking into their window, take the time to draw or write. Most of the time people have trouble processing feelings because they’re not sure how the feel to begin with. Writing can be surprisingly healing because it’s direct contact from your brain to you hand. No judgments, no hesitations just some good ol’ honesty with yourself.
Make it a learning experience
Hearing someone say “Everything happens for a reason” can be frustrating, especially when YOU’RE the one going through the hardship. HOWEVER, the best thing to do in a bad situation is to learn from it. You learn the most about yourself after a breakup. About what suits you, what you need in life, what you can’t put up with and so on….you get the gist. So as bad and nasty the breakup was learn from it and don’t make the same mistakes again!
Badmouth Your Ex
No matter how BITTER you are about the breakup, just remember to be BETTER instead. This is the person you once (or still) adored and thought was perfect, so you will only make yourself look bad if start talking trash about your ex to your friends and family members the second the relationship is over. As the saying goes, don’t dry your dirty laundry out in the open. The relationship was personal, the breakup should be to. Even if your ex stoops down to that level, show them why you’re better off.
Rely on alcohol or drugs
As much as it is tempting to drown all that emotional pain and sadness at the bottom of a Jack Daniels, it’s a big welcome mat to a destructive pathway of life. It might feel good when you’re getting drunk but the next morning you’re hungover and still single. You know what’s worse? Imagine sending an “I miss you text” to your ex. Trust me. You CANNOT take that back.
Deny your emotions
It’s important to be strong in tough situations but being tough is having the strength to face your feelings. You can walk around telling everyone you’re doing just fine but it’s important to mean it than just staying on denial island. Just remember, almost everyone has gone through a breakup and it’s okay to feel sad; as long as you’re on the route to healing.
Get A Bad Haircut
DO NOT GO FOR A HAIRCUT right after your breakup. You’re already in pain, don’t add more to that pile. You’d be surprised how much longer it would take to fix that damage compared to your feelings. Postpone that hair appointment and make sure your mind and emotions are back to normal before the big makeover.
For those going through a break up, if you feel bad and lost right now just know that one of these mornings you will wake up feeling like you found yourself back. Until then I hope these guidelines will keep you going.
And for the singles who had a walk down memory lane reading this post, maybe it’s time for a more refined date?
Click on the link to learn more about esync and we’ll have our consultants reach out to you. Cheers!